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Cause I'm (just) a human being: Semacam refleksi

Entahlah, tiba-tiba aja feeling a kind blue out of nowhere. Sepertinya ini efek kopi hitam segelas jumbo yang saya minum tadi *salahpesenmasss*

Mungkin karena saya teringat (dosa) masa lalu juga -_- kata-kata nya ngeri banget gak sih.
Tapi iya sih, saya bukan orang baik yang tanpa dosa dan berhati mulia, meskipun saya juga bukan orang gak baik yang sukanya ngejahatin dan bikin sakit hati orang. Saya hanya manusia yang sedang mencoba memantaskan diri menerima segala anugerah dan kebahagiaan yang disiapkan Tuhan untuk saya. *eheemm* *benerin jilbab*



Kadang, saya merasa Tuhan tidak adil karena memberi saya kekecewaan dan sakit hati yang dalam.
Saat Tuhan meminta ibu yang teramat saya sayangi kembali kesisi-Nya, misalnya. Tapi, dilain waktu, saya juga merasa (dan sadar) bahwa Tuhan sangatlah teramat baik pada saya karena masih dan tetap saja memberi saya jalan keluar setiap kali saya mendapat cobaan atau masalah yang (kadang) terasa mencekik. Saat Tuhan memberi saya ibu baru yang pandai memasak dan ada saat saya merindukan perhatian seorang ibu, misalnya.

I make mistakes, seperti orang pada umumnya. Tapi, saya sadar akan hal-hal itu dan mencoba memperbaikinya. Seperti tahun kemarin yang merupakan tahun roller coaster di hidup saya, tahun ini saya juga ingin try harder to be a better person. Saya ingin memantaskan diri untuk mendapat cinta dan kasih yang lebih lagi dari Tuhan. Iya, saya ingin menjadi orang yang pantas mendapat cinta-Nya.

Semoga, aamiin.

xoxo

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